Testimonies
Widows Fund
A Short Time, A Great Privilege
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| The Rubio Family — (L to R) Back row: Danielle (15), Ralph, Jr. (17), and Austin (13). Front row: Christen-Gloria (8), Lissa, Lauren (5), Zachary (10), and Garrett (6). |
“I count it a privilege to be home with my children,” says Lissa Rubio. “Especially reaching the milestone of my eldest son’s graduation. Time really does go by fast. It’s just a short amount of time that we have with our children.
“I’ve talked to older godly women who say that someday you will wish you could be back here—even in the midst of hard times. I think that by home schooling you get to spend the most time with your children and learn life together.”
Mother of seven children, Lissa Rubio knows keenly how short a time we have with loved ones. In 1997, her husband, Ralph, died six months after learning that he had cancer. Lissa is one of the first recipients of the Widows Fund, administered by Home School Legal Defense Foundation.
The Rubios are beginning their thirteenth year of home schooling. Lissa’s eldest son, Ralph, Jr., just graduated from high school in June and is considering entering the Marines. “Lord willing and depending on scholarships and grants available,” Lissa said, “Ralph, Jr., would like to start school in fall 2001 and to pursue a career in law.”
From her home in suburban El Cajon, California, east of San Diego, Lissa shared from her heart, “I’ve been a mom, homemaker, and home school teacher ever since my oldest was born. In the early years, we made a lot of sacrifices to do that.
Because of Barbed Wire
“We started home schooling because we lived in a very bad area. The local kindergarten was surrounded by barbed wire to protect the children from the drug trafficking in that area. We decided that we were not going to send Ralph, Jr., to a school enclosed with barbed wire. Although we qualified for busing because he was a minority, he would have been travelling an hour each way. We could not afford private school, and that’s when we started thinking about home schooling.”
Lissa tentatively told her husband, “I think I can do this through second grade, but after that, we’re going to have to find another option.” But home schooling gradually became a conviction and a way of life for the family.
“God gives us the grace to do what He calls us to do,” said Lissa today. “God has raised up other people to help us. I have a wonderful math tutor who doesn’t charge us anything. She sees it as a ministry and investment. God fills in the gap even when I’m not able to.”
Lissa’s Husband, Ralph
An engineer, Ralph Rubio completed his four years of college through the military after he and Lissa were married. “He worked very hard—with a full-time day job, night school, and a family,” she said.
The Lord called Ralph home on January 8, 1997, after a short six-month battle with cancer. “The Lord gave him a lot of foresight and ordered his steps,” Lissa continued. “He was able to prepare our family in many ways for life without a husband and father. When he died, our oldest child was 14, and our youngest was 18 months.”
“That first year was really hard,” remembers Lissa. “In fact, May 1997 was the first time I ever seriously considered quitting home schooling, even though my husband and I had had long discussions on this subject, and his heart’s desire was for me to continue home schooling.”
At one point, Lissa called several local private schools, but learned that her children would be divided between three different campuses for different grade levels.
Furthermore, “attending private school would have been another upheaval in their lives,” Lissa recognized. “We’ve always home schooled and that would have been another huge adjustment to go through. Home schooling has kept us together. It hasn’t always been easy. But I think the investment is worth what the Lord has for us. We only have our children for so long.”
“I can see now that all we’ve had to go through to have them at home was worth it and gave us opportunities we wouldn’t have had otherwise. For example, we were able to take care of my husband at home. In fact, he died at home.
“One of my husband’s dreams had been to find some kind of work where he could be home and teach the children. For several months before he died, he was able to do that. My eight-year-old daughter remembers her little desk pushed up against his bed and his teaching her math. Without home schooling, my children wouldn’t have those memories of their father being able to teach them in the last few months.
“There are life lessons that as a parent you would never imagine but that God had in mind.”
The Body of Christ
One of the life lessons that made a lasting impression on Lissa and her children was seeing the body of Christ in action. She said that her church and the home schooling community were “incredible.”
“I’m very blessed to be surrounded by a church and Christian community who take very seriously the biblical mandate to care for widows and the fatherless. I see it as the hand of God. There are so many ways we are blessed. Before my son could drive, there was always someone available to drive my children to lessons or Little League practice, or wherever they needed to be.
“For a long time after my husband first died, there were four families who would give me weekly breaks. Then later, as my children grew, they gave me breaks to do special things with the older children.”
When the engine went on Lissa’s only vehicle, her church gave her a whole new engine. More recently, someone in the church saw the Rubios’ need and gave her a new vehicle. Just after the warranty expired on the new automobile, it developed a transmission problem. But a Christian dealership owner who believes in taking care of widows and fatherless fixed the transmission at no charge.
“You should apply . . . ”
Lissa first heard about the Widows Fund from friends and relatives. “I received about 10 e-mails and phone calls from people who knew us and urged us to apply for the scholarship,” she said. “Then I received something in the mail from HSLDA. I’ve been member of HSLDA for over 10 years. It’s a requirement of our umbrella school.”
“I called HSLDA, and they sent applications in the mail. It was a pretty fast process. I filled out the paperwork, and heard back within two or three weeks.”
“Because of the funds for curriculum, I will be able to pay for Suzuki violin classes for eight-year-old Christen-Gloria and 10-year-old Zachary,” Lissa said. “And, this is one of the first times I’ve been able to purchase brand new curriculum—special language arts software for Danielle.”
“Every year, I really rely on the Lord for curriculum,” Lissa said. “Often, I modify what I have on hand for the next child or try to find some used curriculum at bookfairs.”
“I’m able to stay in ATI because they’ve sent a scholarship every year since my husband died. And, our umbrella program has given us a scholarship, too.”
As a Single Parent
“It’s not a classroom or place that we would have chosen—I couldn’t have been imagined being widowed at 34 years old,” said Lissa. “But if it had not happened, my children would not have seen the Lord’s work in this way.”
“I would just encourage other single mothers to be stretched,” Lissa said. “And realize that God will grow you as he grows the children up. I never realized that I would be in a classroom, too.”
“Only as I humble myself, does God show himself strong. I don’t have the confidence. It’s really stepping out in faith and knowing that our children belong to him anyway. It’s He who begins the good work and He will be faithful to complete it.”
—Lissa Rubio
(“A Widow Tells Her Story,” Home School Court Report, July/August 2000.)
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